Thank you!! Thank you!! Thank you!!

The amazing support within less than 24 hours of posting my blog, is AMAZING. Thank you for commenting, sending kind words, and sharing your story. My boss gave me the best food for thought on a re-occuring dream I was having. I had the dream about 12 nights in a row till I shared it with my boss, and she gave me her input. I am one of the lucky people to work in the guardianship division at Catholic Charities and having Donna B. as my boss. Anway, enough about my boss, she really is wonderful though. I kept having a dream that Kennedy and 2 children (they are younger than Kennedy, they look like angels, and I CANNOT tell if they are boys or girls). The three kids are playing on the beach and suddenly a huge wave comes sucks them into the ocean. I instantly run and try to save the kids, and the only kid I can save is Kennedy. I try and try to get the other two and just cannot. I kept having this dream and it kept waking me up and making it very hard to sleep. I was not really sleeping at all (even my grandma commented that I had huge black bags under my eyes all the time). I then shared the dream with my boss and she said, " I have another thought about your dream. I wonder if your dream is about saving your babies but also a reminder of how truly powerless we truly are. We really have no control in this world, especially something as powerful as the ocean. Life is wonderful and precious but so hard at times." I had to copy and paste that exact from the email cause I would have never been able to summarize it any better. I have a faith and I know my babies are happy, healthy, and waiting for me. However, I am selfish and want them here. This is the end of blogging for a couple days our gypsie selfs are hitting the road today for another adventure around the state of ND. Again, thank you for all the support. At first I felt very alone, and found comfort in sharing with Natasha. I knew she wouldn't judge any of my emotions or thoughts. She then shared her blog, and I could not help but do the same. She found a whole world of women who have experienced loss, and the more I share with people and find out that I am not the only one. The easier it gets knowing I am not the only one. I am not the only one to be terrified at the thought of getting pregnant again, but will do it (down the road) because it is even more terrifying to think of not ever having more children. I am not the only one who knows that heaven is where we all want to go, and that our children will know no pain, yet I wanted them here. It makes me feel less crazy....THANK YOU